Random thought # 11 for year 2026.

I tuned in for the livestream fights on BB. After a while, I fully [felt] memories of fighting while wearing a badge & uniform long ago. There was memories of the adrenaline, sure.

But...a long lost memory popped up.

At a certain point into my years of fighting, I became a lot calmer during the hand to hand stuff. I recalled feeling no fear, receiving punches didn't hurt, i still felt the impact(s) but no pain [adrenaline]. The fighting techniques [Krav Maga] I was taught became natural, I could see my combatants body language forecasting their next moves. And I well...training did its thing.

One of my daughters took Taekwando for a while. She'd wanna spar with me between classes. I said okay, but my bad back will now limit my reaction times and flexibility. So let's focus mostley on the forms your taught. She agreed. After a few times of that she asked, "Dad, how many fights were you in during your career?"

I'd never been asked that before. I gotta little effected [dazed] by the question. Long long pause.

"There's no accurate way to tell honey, it was so long ago now", I replied. She said, "Can't you estimate or try?"

So I tried. Every shift i fought at least once, but often 3Xs, rarely more than 5Xs. I reported for work 4 to 5 days a week for a 10 to 16hr shift. For about 15yrs.

I did the math... i didn't like the results. So I cut it in half before telling my daughter. She said, "Oh that's less than my instructor. He's has over 10,000 fights."

Instead of countering with my first number, I just smiled and said, "Wow, that's a bunch! All tournament fights?"
She said, "Yeah!" I said, "Cool!" I smiled and dropped it, thinking...wish mine were tourny bouts.

In the field, engagements were brief. Rarely over 20secs. Working inside [Correctional Facilities] the battles were much longer, some lasting minutes. Tables, chairs, food trays, game boards, leftover sandwich celophane bags full of their shit & piss, whatever not nailed down...thrown at us. Dodging stuff and re-engaging was common. The sounds of rubber soled inmates shoes squeaking across tiled floors and plastic chairs quickly sliding over floors is still a sound that triggers me in normal settings. I can get a little sweaty when shopping at Home Depot during the spring, while customers try adjusting outdoor furniture on the store's clean floors, while wearing sneakers...LOL.

The memories made me tired. Shit. Im so tired.