Good Morning, Gents!

I finished my first hummingbird last weekend. And I've bought just a little merchandise to test a theory. EVERYONE & their dog has said I needed to draw a hummingbird for as long as I can remember. But is there any money in this? Are people more likely to buy hummingbirds than say cardinals or goldfinches? I'm betting hummingbirds are all hype. That no one will buy this, no one will buy the merch, & all of this was a colossal waste of my time. If confirmed, then it will only reinforce what I already know which is if people are not willing to put their money where their mouths are up front, then the project is not worth doing. You should draw a loon or a pheasant. Are you going to pay me for it? No? Then, maybe some day, I'll get around to it. That's how you handle this. And that's the difference between doing what YOU want & having everyone else pay for it & doing what EVERYONE else wants & essentially being everyone's entertainment (which allows everyone to use you). That's how I have handled hummingbirds for years now. But I decided that it would be fun to test this theory. After all, I may be wrong. These things may fly off the shelf (pun intended). This may be so successful & the demand so intense that all I make for the next year is hummingbirds. I don't mind being wrong, but in order to be wrong, I have to.........wait for it............can you guess..............be wrong. And I'll bet I'm not. So, we'll see.

In the meantime, I started watching a docu-series on the Civil War Memorial Day weekend (so 3 weeks ago, yeah, I know, but feels like 3 months ago). As we get closer to 4th of July, I started watching a docu-series on the Revolution. And what has struck me, even inspired me, is the number of ordinary men (with no formal training) who were put in extreme circumstances & did extraordinary things.

It reminds me of something I read in Walden by Henry David Thoreau, "If I wished a boy to know something about the arts and sciences, for instance, I would not pursue the common course, which is merely to send him into the neighborhood of some professor, where anything is professed and practised but the art of life; — to survey the world through a telescope or a microscope, and never with his natural eye; to study chemistry, and not learn how his bread is made, or mechanics, and not learn how it is earned; to discover new satellites to Neptune, and not detect the motes in his eyes, or to what vagabond he is a satellite himself; or to be devoured by the monsters that swarm all around him, while contemplating the monsters in a drop of vinegar. Which would have advanced the most at the end of a month, — the boy who had made his own jackknife from the ore which he had dug and smelted, reading as much as would be necessary for this — or the boy who had attended the lectures on metallurgy at the Institute in the meanwhile, and had received a Rodgers penknife from his father? Which would be most likely to cut his fingers? To my astonishment I was informed on leaving college that I had studied navigation ! — why, if I had taken one turn down the harbor I should have known more about it."

That last part, especially, he studied navigation, in a classroom, but would've learned more had he taken a turn down the harbor. And there will be 20 or 30 men say college is worthless, which I'm not arguing, having experienced it first hand, but know little more than a college grad. And that's what has struck me. This tension of studying something or regurgitating something vs. actually living it & experiencing it. The 20 or 30 men who say this will still, probaby, but maybe not, prove it though, submit to it. They'll post a video (someone else's work & research & words) on it or they'll share an article or they'll simply regurgitate what others have said & they'll place value in this, rather than live it or experience it themselves (& thus put it in their own words, after having spent their own time & done their own research). They're the fools who sat in the lecture & received the knife from their father. The ordinary men of old were farmers or fishermen or tradesmen & they did extraordinary things. Now, we're college grads or with access to college level education (so extraordinary) who do ordinary things. Both the boy who smelted his own knife & the boy who received a knife from his dad cut their fingers, so who cares?

I went to a Bible study last night. We're going through a book about the armor of God (this is in Ephesians 6). It's fine, no problem. But I've been asked to lead. Lead what? We're just going through a book. The book is leading us. It's asking the question, we're just reading what the author is asking & then discussing it. Why do you need me or anyone else to "lead?" You want someone to lead? Toss the book & let's read Ephesians 6 straight from the Bible. Let's talk about the questions IT poses (because it will pose questions). Let's plug it into our own lives. Let's examine our lives. If you really wanna get crazy (which anyone who has ever spent time under my "leadership" in a Bible study will know I'm always down to get crazy & will ALWAYS lead you to crazy), let's plug Ephesians 6 into an Old Testament or even New Testament situation (Moses or Abraham or Peter or Paul), then examine ourselves & relate to that person, that situation. That's how you lead, which ironically, is exactly what the author is doing, except instead of being a step above being brain dead, you're actually engaged & learning something & experiencing something. I don't mind the Bible study. Like I said, it's fine. I am insulted at being asked to lead it. Because I'm a snob. And there's nothing wrong with being a snob. It's the same with my art. I can do some crazy things, even create things that are quite beautiful (I'm biased). I am insulted when someone wants me to make something mediocre. I am insulted that people value the author who is doing exactly what the "leader" is doing, but discredit the leader for doing it. I think the boy who smelted his own knife has earned a right to look down on the boy who just received his. But today, the boy who received his knife looks down on the boy who smelted his. The hell do you come off looking down on him? (Incidentally, Romans 14 would say that neither should look down on the other..........see, this is crazy, & I'll ALWAYS lead you to crazy.)

You have a man who walks into the woods with just a swiss army knife & makes a fire with a couple of sticks. Then you have a man who walks into the woods wth a Zippo. I respect the first man, even though I am the second. But the reason I am the second is because I haven't learned how to be the first. I walk into the woods maybe once every few years, so frankly, I don't have a reason to become the first.

The thing is that it's not that hard to become the first man. If you're like me & don't ever go into the woods, then what's the point? I wouldn't exactly call that lazy. I was talking to a co-worker who is a small business owner too (I think he has a few air bnb's in the Ozarks). We were talking about taxes. He has a guy do his taxes for him, which is fine. I'd rather learn to do them myself (cue the audit, right). I've read the Schedule C instructions. There's a lot there, but it's not really complicated. I can figure it out. Most of the instructions don't apply to me anyway. I need to read it again & even a third time before the year is over, so I can be familiar with them.

This is what I'm talking about. Why do this for the hell of it though, like learning how to start a fire with 2 sticks when you only ever enter the woods every few years? I am a small business owner, so it makes sense for me to learn to do this. Is it over my head, in which case I'll need to enlist some help? There's no shame in that. But it doesn't seem to be over my head, so I'll learn to do it myself. Did you know that you can buy materials & create whatever with them, sell the finished product, & then deduct the materials as an expense? I learned that. And I can do that, because I keep pretty good inventory. He was saying something about delayed gains. I know how to do that too, but I probably won't do that for myself, because I'll only end up earning like an extra $15. Meh.

But inventory is another thing. You know they have an app for that, right? Something to do the work for you. It's my business. And by keeping a strict inventory, I am intimately involved in my business & know it intimately. I've also earned business owners' respect, because I've proven myself to not be lazy. A lot of them trust me. When I get audited & I probably will be, not because I'm trying to get away with something, but because I'm dumb & learning. (By the way, there's nothing wrong with being dumb & learning. That's the whole point. We're all dumb. Being satisfied with being dumb & staying that way [mediocre] is the problem [the fag who is handed a pocket knife from Daddy & looks down on the boy who made his -- the tard wasted all that time & energy, when he should've just had a daddy who will give it to him at the end for being a good boy], learning & trying to become smart or wise or experienced is nothing to be ashamed of. It's a noble process.) When I get audited, they'll see that I have a rather sophistocated inventory system. And I'll admit that sometimes I get lazy, but luckily, I have it cross referenced like three different ways, so when I get lazy, it's fairly easy for me to catch up again. (Just FYI, there's ALWAYS book work to be done.) They'll still bust me for something, because they're paid to, but whatever.

Anyway, just some things I've been thinking about recently & decided to rant about it.